[T]he dust has begun to settle from the divorce, and your routine of sharing care for your children between you and your Ex may be starting to take shape or perhaps you have succeeded in obtaining full custody. Either way, the importance shouldn’t be laid upon the amount of time you spend with the children. Instead, it should be about what you are doing to build a relationship with your children when you are together. Although for parents looking after their children full time, understandably it can be difficult to set time aside to form a bond with your children beyond keeping them and you alive. Especially when you’re working and trying to run a house. Which is why the suggestions below to build a bond with your kids can be tailored to suit your circumstances and the time you have spare.
Relationship with Your Children – Persistence Is Key
To begin with, It doesn’t matter if the response you receive from your child might be one-word answers, grumpy comments or no talking at all. The only thing that matters is you continuously make an effort to help your kids through the divorce, by speaking to, engaging with and being affectionate to your little ones. The children are most likely processing the significant change they have experienced as a result of the divorce. Whether uprooting home, coming to terms with one of their parents not being around or perhaps even having to change schools and leave their friends. Making an effort to help your kids transition through the changes from the effects of a divorce is vital to either maintaining or creating a trustworthy, loving connection between you and your family.
Finding common ground between you and your children will allow you to explore activities you will all enjoy together, this can help to build a bond between you and your family by having fun and creating memories. Here are a few ideas of hobbies and interests for all ages you could consider:
- Sports: football, tennis, dance, basketball, golf, swimming,
- Technology: Games consoles, drones, remotes control cars,
- Thrill seekers: theme parks, white water rafting, paintball,
- Outdoors: Camping, hiking, fishing, gardening,
- Creative: knitting, creating toy model cars, drawing/painting,
- Entertainment: cinemas, dining out, watching films, and visiting the zoo.
If you’re finding it difficult getting the children to talk to you, take time to think and research a few activities/toys you think they’ll like, purchase them and see how they respond. For instance, if you’re interested in remote control vehicles and think it’s something the little ones will like, you could do some research on www.myrctopia.com, maybe even purchase a vehicle and take it to a local park or an open field.
Relationship with Your Children – Your Home Is Their Home
If you have the room, creating a space for your children is essential to provide them somewhere that is solely their own. With all of their creature comforts, sentimental items, style and of course privacy. If you can afford to, make an effort to decorate the room to your kid’s tastes. By making the effort to support the children in their new home, this could encourage them to be more confident in their new setting, happy you’ve made the effort and maybe more open to building a relationship with you.
Some of the suggestions above will hopefully give you some idea of what to do to build a relationship with your children after your divorce. Such as; infinitely making an effort with them, seeking shared interests and if necessary changing your house to create a comfortable home fit for your children.
Contributed post. Feature image via Leah Kelley.