[W]hen grown ups decide to separate and emotions soar high, it is hard to think about the kids. However, they are there every minute, witnessing the arguments and dealing with the changes. If you are a dad who is fighting for custody, or would like to take an active part in the upbringing of your kids, you will need to give them all the support they need to survive these difficult times. Below you will find a few tips on how to help your kids through divorce.
Reduce the Impact of Divorce – Get Them Involved
If you would like to build a new relationship with your children, you will need to sit down with them and tell them what is going on and what will happen in the near future. Kids are trying to make sense of all the events, and you don’t want them to start guessing. After all, they are a part of your life and have the right to know what is going on.
Make Them Your Priority
You might be dealing with some difficult times, but you should not be selfish. When you talk to your divorce lawyer and explore your options, you will have to take your children’s interest into consideration before your own. You might want to have full custody, but what if their friends are at their current school, and big changes had long term negative impact on their lives? How about their studies and exams?
Reduce the Impact of Divorce – Look Ahead
You cannot just look at the current situation and ignore the long term future. The best way to connect with your kids and make them want to spend more time with you is to look ahead and focus on making your future together work. You might want to talk to professional Divorce Lawyers to find out how you can make the most out of your time with your kids within the agreement’s limitations.
Treasure the Memories
Instead of looking back and focusing on the problems, you will have to find things that are positive and treasure them. Just because your marriage is over, it doesn’t mean that it was all bad. You must have had great times together as a family, and you would like your kids to remember this instead of the arguments and the conflict.
Reduce the Impact of Divorce – Consider Their Needs
When you make a plan to reduce the impact of the divorce on your kids, it is important that you consider their needs and make sure that you understand what they are going through at their age. There might be peer problems, school issues, or hormonal changes that can knock them out of balance, maybe they have special educational needs, and you have to find a support group to help them make sense of what is happening around them.
There are plenty of problems kids – big or small – face during and after the divorce. Some blame themselves, others become hostile, or feel that they cannot talk to any of their parents. Be grown up and put their needs first.
Contributed post. Feature image via Flickr.