[I]f you’ve been reading me for a while you know I’m a token geek. I always carry a laptop and a wifi aircard with me ever where I go. I may close the laptop but I need to know that I could be online in 30 seconds if need be. I’m trying to work through my “12 Step” program, I just can’t admit I have a problem. Besides you never know when the world might end because you didn’t push the button every 108 minutes. But I digress.
I was sitting with the boys, killing time waiting to see my daughter’s band march in our city’s local parade. Then it hit me. “Why don’t parades offer free WiFi?” This line of thinking seems perfectly logical and I thought I would share with the world MY list of inventions missing from the perfect geeky life.
Our Geeky Future Includes Wifi Body Implants
1. Wifi Implants Internet access is more important these days than food and shelter. You can live a bit without Subway and Ramen noodles, but 30 minutes is about the max you can go without checking Facebook, eMails or texts. Why should we have to hunt for Wifi access? Let’s just embed that WiFi connection right under the skin. Everyone could be their own ISP (internet service provider), and it would work while waiting for parades.
2. Wireless Electricity Forget batteries. We need some modern day Alexander Graham Bells, Thomas Edisons and George Westinghouses of the world to solve this problem. There has got to be a way to pump electricity directly into the air to power all of our electrical devices without cords or recharging. Forget about the cancer side affects, we need power.
3. The Mundane Daily Deciding App Too much time is wasted by all geeks deciding daily mundane decision like… “Should I select paper or plastic?” “Do I want white or wheat bread?” “Subway or Ramen noodles for lunch?” “Should I have Venti or Grande White Chocolate Mocha?” With all the computer intelligence on the planet, certainly there’s an app for this.
Our Geeky Future Includes Rechargeable Robotic Pets
4. Rechargeable Robotic Pets The pet industry is a record 58 billion dollar market and growing. Dogs are a man’s best friend, and pet relationship promote longevity of life and provide companionship to children and elderly adults. As family members, the loss of a pet can be devastating and adds unnecessary sadness and stress to ones life. There is a reasonable and simple solution to this problem. Computerized robotic pets! Imagine the perfect pet that requires no food and produces no waste on the living room floor.
[blockquote author=”FullCustodyDad”]Its a perfect simplification, you could receive upgrades much like your smart phone, and it could be easily replaced and restore when your neighbor mistakenly backs over it with the minivan.[/blockquote]
Its a perfect simplification, you could receive upgrades much like your smart phone, and it could be easily replaced and restore when your neighbor mistakenly backs over it with the minivan. Too much barking, chewing on the furniture? No problem, surf the web and download a different schema or personality. Needing to go out of town for a week? No problem, flip it over and turn it off. Or better yet, throw it into the suitcase next to the hair dryer and bring it with you. A perfect portable companion.
Well the band is playing and the parade has started so I better close the laptop. I don’t want to look overly geeky for my daughter. If only I had “clothes picker” to help me decide which color Crocs go with my white socks…the red or the green?