“A hundred years from now it will not matter what sort of house I lived in, what my bank account was, or the kind of car I drove, but the world may be different because I was important in the life of my child.” – Anonymous
[I]t’s been estimated that between 40-50% of marriages will end in divorce, and 60% of those will involve children. As a result, more than one million children experience their parents’ divorce each year. Studies have shown that the devastating effects of divorce on children have, in some ways, been overblown. Children do possess the power to rebound and adapt. However, the negatives can be minimized based on how the parents handle the situation.
The following guidelines will not only help the family unit (remember you are still a family) maintain a semblance of functionality, but will get the parents think better of each other, and feel better about themselves.
6 Ideas to Make a Smooth Divorce for Your Kids
1. Create an atmosphere where your kids are comfortable asking questions about the divorce and their future. While the children will adapt, that adaptation will go more smoothly and trust rebuilt more quickly if the children can address problems, potential problems and questions about their security.
2. Spend fun time with your child. It will ease tensions and give everyone a feel of “normalcy.” That said, don’t go overboard and slide into the Disneyland Parent Syndrome.
3. Express love. That means telling your child you love him and showing him through hugs. Children question their parents’ love for them during divorce. Borrowing from Emeril Lagasse and kick the hugs up a notch.
4. Keep the both parents involved in your kids lives. Children needs positive interaction with both parents.
5. Avoid bad-mouthing the Ex. And that verbal conflict can come in more than just arguing. It can reveal itself in “cheap shots” or crass comments about how the mother has done you wrong. Maybe so, but keep all that between the two of you.
6. Remember, she is your child’s mother. It might not have worked out for the two of you, but that doesn’t mean she hasn’t been and won’t continue to be a positive mom.
What other advice would you give for a smooth divorce for your kids?
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