The last thing any parent wants to do is adversely affect their kids when a relationship comes to an end. With that in mind, the information on this page will help all fathers to ensure they deal with the situation in the best way possible. Kids who experience trauma during their early years will often find it affects them in later life. So, you need to be careful and make sure you don’t cause too much upset. Your kids will thank you when they get older. Here’s my Parent’s Guide to Protecting Kids from a Breakup.
Don’t Argue in Front of the Kids
Parents often don’t realize how much they upset their children when they argue in front of them. All responsible adults should try to contain themselves and refrain from engaging in verbal disagreements until the kids go to bed. If you don’t think it’s possible to have a rational and calm conversation with your Ex – don’t speak to them at all! (This is hard to sometimes but my life got considerably better once we completely stopped talking.) A decent divorce attorney will handle all the negotiations if you can’t get along. So, you can relax and focus on your kids safe in the knowledge that you have a professional working in your corner. Arguing in front of your children can lead to many issues later life including:
- A lack of Confidence
- A lack of Trust
- The Inability to Get Close to Another Person
Possibly Explain the Situation to the Kids
Depending on the age of your children, you might want to explain the situation to ensure you dispel any myths and let them know what’s going on. In most instances, you should only do that if your children are in their early teens. Just make sure you don’t try to score points against your Ex. That is especially important if the person is the mother of the children. Regardless of the situation, you need to remain as fair and reasonable as possible. If you spend your time bad mouthing your Ex, the kids will start to think you’re a nasty person. In my observations, bad mouthing always backfires. You have to remember that kids don’t understand the nature of adult relationships. So, you will just paint yourself as the bad guy.
Always Put the Kids First
At every stage of the breakup, it’s vital that you put your kids first. That means arranging fun days out and maybe even a vacation. When all’s said and done, the children are not to blame for the end of your relationship. They didn’t do anything wrong, and so the kids shouldn’t have to suffer. Some parents find that employing the services of an adolescent counselor tends to work well. Sometimes the kids struggle to speak to their parents about how they feel. That can lead to them letting things build up inside until they explode. The last thing you need is for your children to get into trouble at schools because they don’t have a happy home life.
If you follow the advice and guidance from this blog; you should manage to negotiate a breakup without affecting your kids. Just remember that, whatever happens, your children are the most critical part of your life, and so you always need to consider the way your actions might make them feel. Good luck!
Featured post image courtesy of Vic from Flickr.