[W]hen you go through divorce, much is made of the negative effects on the children. Sometimes, it makes the divorcing parents feel even worse, and maybe even depressed. While it is without question one of the hardest aspects on children, there can be some positive kid reasons of divorce.
While none of that should encourage you to go through an unnecessary divorce, a new environment can develop into some life lessons. Let’s focus on five possible benefits of divorce for the kids.
Positive Kid Reasons of Divorce
1. When several people live in an unhappy home, no one benefits. However, when the parents are separated, living in their own homes, rebuilding their own worlds, they are happier. Therefore, the children tend to be, too.
2. More tension means children are afraid to be themselves. Parents out of each other’s way, means less tension, and the kids will be more relaxed. The children’s behavior will be more natural when an environment-filled tension is eliminated.
3. You are modeling for a successful marriage/life. Staying in a relationship ‘for the kids’ is usually best if possible. But there are certain lines and circumstances that clearly make that impossible. Divorce might teach them that moral absolute do require a restart and that recovering from divorce is possible.
4. With shared custody, children can see both parents in a more complete light. With a couple, parents take on certain roles or responsibilities; in some ways, the parents’ influence is limited. When running separate households, each parent now has to do more, as they are on their own. So children will see each parent in a way that otherwise, he or she probably never have seen. In my custody situation, I grew up and became a far more involved and responsible dad than I would have otherwise had the separation never occurred.
5. Children are more likely to see each parent happy. Whether you get involved with another person or not, the parents should be happier, and the relationship with the child should be enhanced.
I am not advocating divorce. What I am suggesting is to make the pre- and post-divorce process work better for the entire family. If you understand these positives, and make the most of the new opportunities for you and your children, they may grow up with more survival skills that can help them through life.
What are other positive aspects of divorce for children? How did you make your divorce smooth for your kids?
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