[N]o one goes into having children thinking of raising them alone. The pinnacle of your family life, if you ever thought about having kids before meeting your significant other, it was probably some fragrance ad dream featuring two gorgeous looking, well-rested parents swinging a cherub-cheeked toddler between them as they stroll down a beautiful beach. Sadly, that isn’t always the reality, and plenty of people find themselves in the struggle that is co-parenting while trying to navigate being single again much later in their adult lives. It’s a situation that isn’t talked about much or hugely visible within popular culture – little wonder most men going through single daddyhood feel like there’s no manual to help them out. There are quite a few surprises in store when going through this big life change.
Life as a Single Parent – People Will Have Lots Of Opinions
For some reason, parenthood is a state where people of varying degrees – from your ex-partners mother to your work colleagues – will be quite opinionated, and usually not afraid to let you know exactly what they think of your Dad skills, especially in the aftermath of a separation. No matter what occurred, going through a relationship breakup is tough, and doubly so when children are concerned. But from genuinely caring about your wellbeing through to dictating what, when and other specifics, the weight of people’s input can be overbearing. It will also feel at times as if everyone is talking about you – and they probably will be for at least a little while – so you’re going to have to grow a thick skin. Get one or two good people around you that you can trust and confide in and then just weather the storm – the main thing is to shield the kids as much as possible for any fallout.
You May Have To Rethink The Budget
If you were part of a dual-income family before splitting, the sudden drop in funds can be hard to handle. If you’re dissolving a marriage, divorce is notoriously expensive, and quite aside from any child support payments or alimony, you may also have the strain of juggling two sets of livings costs if you’ve moved out but are still paying a mortgage or rent on the family property. This means there might have to be some serious reworking of the budget – a resource like https://budgetboost.co/how-to-make-a-budget-and-save-money/ can help you balance the books while you find your feet.
Life as a Single Parent – Your Social Life Will Nosedive
If you thought it would be all break-up beers with your buddies and even (whisper it) dates, then you may be surprised by the fact that your social life might die off a bit. There’s nothing like having to cancel plans at the weekends because that’s the only time you’re allowed to see your children to make you realize that.
It Might Be The Making Of You
There’s something about going through an intensely emotional experience like a family separation to make you realize exactly what is most important in life. Whether it was being focused on work or other projects, perhaps you weren’t always really present around your kids and needed less time on electronics. When you don’t live with them full time, what time you do spend together becomes much more so much more precious. Being a more present, caring parent may well be an unexpected result from a time of sadness and stress.
Contributed post. Feature image via Pexels.