Being a part of a family that co-parents is tough. You get part of your week away from your children, and it can often feel like a timeshare. You don’t know what goes on outside of your own hours, and you don’t get to be there every single day. Routines get thrown up in the air on a regular basis and the struggle to keep a balance for the sake of the children is very real.
Providing your children with balance after going through all the rigmarole with a child custody lawyer isn’t easy, but it can be achieved. Co-parenting works on the basis that regular communication about the children is done in an amicable and neutral way, so that the children still get the best of both of you without any of the animosity that changed your family in the first place. The biggest issue with co-parenting is finding a balance so that the children feel secure, safe and confident in their routines. Sometimes, parenting styles clash in quite a big way, and while both parents can want their children to be happy and healthy, it isn’t always going to be achieved in the same way.
Children with Balance Can Handle Different Parenting Styles
It’s okay to have different parenting styles; one parent may find rules and regulations important and the other may not, but the key is to work together to find compromises on everything so that your children don’t feel that there’s a struggle. Working together on the big topics and issues to find a balance in your responses is more important than sweating the small stuff. It’s also important not to pitch yourselves against each other in front of the children, regardless of the issue. Children need to have boundaries and while it can be difficult to maintain a balance at every single opportunity, you both should be consistent with the rules that are set in each house.
Children are flexible, and adults often forget that fact. They’ll face different rules at school than they do at home, so they are adaptable to different sets of rules in different houses. Always respect and acknowledge the rules that your co-parent sets, even if you aren’t making moves to enforce those rules in your house. It’s far more important to provide balance across both homes than it is to be a fun parent who spoils the children just out of guilt. Sometimes, it can feel impossible to collaborate in the best way as parents together. This is a big deal when your partnership breaks down, but the important thing to remember is the children that are involved in the situation. They still need the best out of you, even when your co-parenting relationship hits a hiccup.
To Provide Children with Balance, Let the Little Things Go
Hitting mediation sessions to discuss the welfare of the children and agree mutual ground rules is a good way to avoid any arguing and fighting. As a blended parent, you have to remember you are no longer married and don’t try to parent to the other side. In the end, the children and their lives staying secure are what matters the most, not arguing over what time bedtime should be in a house that you don’t live in.
Contributed post. Featured post image courtesy of Free Great Picture.