I felt like a visitor in my own house.”

[T]hat was the summation of a friend after beginning a divorce. He left his wife and their two children.

However, he unexpectedly showed up at a recent dinner party the couple had been planning long before the split. As expected, the evening was awkward (yes, I was there). For most of the night, the wife stayed in one room of their spacious house, he in another. The guests made it easier for them as we broke half one way and half the other.

Beginning Divorce: Awkward and Hard by Fred CamposSigns of a breakup were both subtle and obvious. They had been to counseling for some months, with mixed results. But earlier this year, the obese husband got on an eating program and began working out. To date, he’s lost 100 pounds, and his blood work has improved dramatically. HE even says he’s hoping to get off the Statin drugs that help lower his cholesterol.

Back to the kids. They seem to be adapting well, they have been reassured that both parents still love them and they are not the cause for the calamity. No official word yet, but the feeling here is that the mother will keep them, and she will probably get the house. Rightfully so. The kids, both teens, will likely stay in their current situation. The dad’s work requires him to travel extensively (even occasionally going overseas) so he’d be out for extended periods of time. Their mom stays at home.

The Divorce Proceedings Have Begun.

Not sure where it’s all headed, but the husband has been caught off guard by several surprises. “Feeling like a stranger in my own house,” is only part of the surprises he’s experienced. He also says, “I didn’t know it would be this hard,” he says, “on me and my kids.”

What exactly did he expect?

What situations have you observed, when a parent didn’t count the cost?

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