Getting co-parenting right with a person you are no longer in a relationship with can be really tough. Depending on the terms of the split, you might find communication tough, and crossed wires can lead to all kinds of arguments and disagreements. Even if you split in amicable terms, certain things can come up that can make this new relationship difficult to navigate – such as starting a relationship with a new person.
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Just like your relationship with your Ex evolved, and you become closer, it seems this new relationship is heading along the same path. This is when panic starts to set in because your kids are about to become part of a new family.
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Out of respect to my daughter, I haven’t shared much about my current co-parenting situation. As I review and compare DGC to other custody blogs, I realize I have purposely left out the million crazy instances of co-parenting with someone who has a very different moral and parenting style. As the title of this blog indicates, Daddy Got Custody, I have been the custodial parent since my daughter was four (she’s about to be 17 next month).
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I received an email letter from a Mom who is greatly concerned because the courts are recommending shared custody of their 10 year old son. She, rightfully so, feels this recommendation is unfair because the father has been out of the son’s life for most of his childhood, and yet the social worker feels it is the the child’s best interest.
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The number one thing to remember when you are communicating with your Ex is to keep it short and sweet. And if you can’t do both, keep it even shorter. You may be one of those rare people who is on good term with your Ex, but, if getting a divorce teaches you anything it’s that feelings can change. The fact that you are getting along now…
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Parents divorcing can be a traumatic experience for kids. It can send their whole life into upheaval all by itself. Add onto that changing schools, losing friends, having to give up activities. Aside from just caring more about your kids than what neighborhood you live in, staying in the same school district is also impresses the Judge.
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When I tell parents that in cases where both parents are pretty good and equal, I rarely see judges changing custody just because the kids want them too. It does in fact happen. However a closer look of the facts usually reveals the change is being made “outside” the courtroom.
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With emotions running high before, during and after a break-up, ill feelings are often harbored, maybe for years. All of that makes it easy to overreact (and justify same). However, always remember that communication with this person is necessary for the duration of Sally’s formative years, maybe longer.
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Divorce and child custody can be an ugly mean game. Sadly most parents don’t take the high road for the sake of the relationship or the process for the kids. Since you have determined you cannot move forward in the relationship together you must have your guard up and be hyper sensitive in regards to your Ex, your children, and your surroundings.
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Pilar Sanders paid a heavy price for not cooperating with visitation rights with her children to her one-time husband, one-time Dallas Cowboys All-Pro Deion Sanders. Not only did she fail to return them after visitation, she illegally took them.
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Bring the situation to the attention of your attorney and have her take it to the judge or CPS. But as with all accusations, you need concrete documentation. False accusations are an absolutely killer to your custody case and are fairly common in child custody proceedings.
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Under the standard, “best interest of the child,” conditions been determined, maybe after several attempts to figure out what that exactly means. Now, with an upheaval, the situation has changed, maybe dramatically and you have to go back to the court and make your case that a move is still in the child’s best interest.
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In a previous post, “A Father’s Quest to Find His Kidnapped Daughter,” I shared a tiny about the struggle some custodial parents both male and female deal with regarding exchanges. Being the custodial parent, requires you to put your personal feelings aside and take the high road in situations you would not normally agree too.
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TThroughout life, our personal connections go through a metamorphosis. Parents go from being...
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According to USLegal.com, a site that defines legal terms, the “Disneyland Parent” refers to a “noncustodial parent who indulges his or her child with gifts and good times during visitation and leaves most or all disciplinary responsibilities to the other parent.”
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I am a big proponent of trying to keep friends out of divorce court. I am a believer in staying married, especially if you still have kids at home. One of my friends is struggling in his marriage. In our sessions, we are reading together, Dr. Henry Cloud…
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Co-parenting is hard. Take the high road and keep the other parent informed and write her a short, brief, letter about your precious children. After you written it, sleep on it and re-read it in the morning. Make sure it’s all about the children, after all that’s what matters.
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After the relationship or divorce is over one of the hardest things you are going to have to do is continue brief and amicable communication with your Ex. Depending on where you are in your custody situation and the temperatures of your relationship, …
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