Just like your relationship with your Ex evolved, and you become closer, it seems this new relationship is heading along the same path. This is when panic starts to set in because your kids are about to become part of a new family.
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If you look closely at my goals, you’ll notice I need a lot of help in the “Date Nights” with SuperParentMom department. I married up the food chain and my wife is a trooper, especially being a step-mom, but I need to make her more of a priority. Especially over the kids. Repeat after me dads… “Spouses stay, kids leave.”
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You have called your children together for a major announcement. You’ve removed all the distractions; you have their attention. They know you’ve been dating this woman for a while, and you like her. Of course, you’ve dated others who have come in and out of your life, never to see them again. But hey, it was fun. However, this one is different.
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You’ve been divorced for a while, and you’ve slowly rebuilt your personal and maybe even professional life. You’ve settled into a new arrangement with your children, which may include a new school and home; you have put much of the divorce’s emotional trauma behind you. You’ve even taken the big plunge and started dating again.
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Stepmoms can have it rough. Their roles are often unclear, and they can change even after a few months as children grow and their needs evolve. If the dad remarries, it’s important that he communicates to his children consistent and clear rules as to the step-mom’s role. If communication with his Ex is amicable, those rules can be conveyed from both parents (although not always possible, not in my case anyway).
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Step-parents or “bonus parents” in my experience are a real blessing. As both a child of remarried...
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