Maybe friendship is too strong of a goal. Perhaps there is too much negative history and one or both of you years later still can’t get past it. Under those circumstances “friendship” may be unreachable. Maybe just being civil to one another while attending graduations or weddings is a step in the right direction.
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[N]ow this is pretty much essential. Parenting is an art form we think. It’s something that you...
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I love how curious kids are. It’s one of the things that makes them so utterly infectious, seeing the world through completely unbiased and unfiltered eyes as they navigate this and that, and ask questions that have us parents furiously rattling our brains to come up with the right answer.
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Parenting is probably the hardest thing that any one person, any marriage, goes through. You change and grow as people and while your children grow, you often lose sight of each other, too. Do you know what makes parenting so much harder? Splitting with your partner. But it’s not for the reason that you think.
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Fred Campos, @FullCustodyDad, discusses taking the experience of fighting for custody and allowing it to change your life for good. Really focus on becoming he better parent for your kids and learning to get along with your Ex.
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Divorce can be a tricky time for everyone involved, especially if you have children. If you have children together you can’t make a totally clean break, as you both have parenting responsibilities. Ideally, all differences would be put aside for the sake of your children and this may be a possibility if your divorce was a mutual decision.
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Fifty, forty or even thirty years ago, the concept of divorce was still pretty fresh. It was raw. It was like winning the lottery in the worst possible way, by which we mean it was still really rare. Fast-forward to the modern day and half of all marriages end in a courtroom somewhere and, we’ve got to be honest, most are messy.
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When you’ve got joint custody of your children you might only end up seeing them for weekends. It’s not the ideal judgment but it’s what you have at the moment. That was the situation that my parents were in after they got divorced. From the age of five, I lived with my Mom and spent weekends with my Dad (I would eventually live with my Dad, but that’s another story).
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So many times we focus or hear about terrible divorces and custody battles that last forever. In my 18 years of dealing and working with child custody issues, I have run across a few shining examples of parents with the greatest divorces. These parents worked it out, put their kids first, and got along better than most married couples.
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To prevent conflict as a result of miscommunication, you might have your letter time-stamped and dated. You can bring three copies of your notice to the courthouse, where you may get each copy officially stamped with the date and time. Then, leave one copy to be kept on file with the court, mail one copy to the custodial parent, and keep one copy for yourself.
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When parents divorce, children suffer. While they must go through their own uncertainties about their future, how the parents handle the post-marriage, pre-divorce window goes a long way in determining how the family unit will function. How do you maintain the love and respect that children have for each parent?
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The number one thing to remember when you are communicating with your Ex is to keep it short and sweet. And if you can’t do both, keep it even shorter. You may be one of those rare people who is on good term with your Ex, but, if getting a divorce teaches you anything it’s that feelings can change. The fact that you are getting along now…
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The divorce is final; you’re glade to have it behind you, but you don’t feel good about it. Sure you and your Ex had a relationship that ended badly, but you had some good times, too. And besides, you had a child together, so you’ll have to continue some type of relationship.
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He unexpectedly showed up at a recent dinner party the couple had been planning long before the split. As expected, the evening was awkward (yes, I was there). For most of the night, the wife stayed in one room of their spacious house, he in another. The guests made it easier for them as we broke half one way and half the other.
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You married the wrong person. You admit your mistake. You have divorced, and are in the process of picking up the pieces and get on with your life, all made more difficult because of the children involved. They are a part of the separation. They will go through emotional difficulties as well, and those issues must be addressed.
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TThroughout life, our personal connections go through a metamorphosis. Parents go from being...
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I am a big proponent of trying to keep friends out of divorce court. I am a believer in staying married, especially if you still have kids at home. One of my friends is struggling in his marriage. In our sessions, we are reading together, Dr. Henry Cloud…
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Co-parenting is hard. Take the high road and keep the other parent informed and write her a short, brief, letter about your precious children. After you written it, sleep on it and re-read it in the morning. Make sure it’s all about the children, after all that’s what matters.
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After the relationship or divorce is over one of the hardest things you are going to have to do is continue brief and amicable communication with your Ex. Depending on where you are in your custody situation and the temperatures of your relationship, …
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Whether you’re a Fred, Charles, Wes, a parent, or a friend of someone who finds themselves involved in a child custody suit you are not alone. More than 50% of American marriages will end in divorce—most of them with kids. The first thing to do, …
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