Going through a divorce is a difficult time for any family. And no matter how amicable the separation, it will be tough on your kids. But that doesn’t mean you can’t take steps to make it as pain-free as possible, eliminating any confusion and worry. Here are some top tips to help any parents going through a difficult divorce.
Be open with Johnny
Sally will be experiencing strong feelings about your divorce. Even if they are too young to fully understand or articulate what’s going on, their parents splitting up will affect them. Once you’ve broken the news, don’t try to hide things from them or sugarcoat the situation. Say it how it is. It’s important to be honest and build trust. Encourage them to share their feelings about your divorce, positive or negative. Be there to listen. Don’t try to change the way they feel or convince them it’s for their own good. Hear what they have to say, thank them for their honesty and show them that their feelings are important to you.
Have Arrangements in Place
What most parents want from a divorce arrangement is to be able to see their child as much as possible. But dividing their time between two households means no one will get the perfect outcome. Accept that, and make arrangements accordingly, for the maximum happiness of everyone. Leave emotions and ego out of it, and don’t fight over your child like they’re a prized possession. Establishing a timetable or schedule for joint parenting can be hugely beneficial. It enables everyone to know where they stand and prevents parents from fighting over the amount of time they spend with their kids. When making a plan, be prepared to adapt. Consistency is essential to maintain structure in a child’s life, but there will inevitably be things that come up, that means one of you will have to change your schedules. Be prepared to alter the visitation schedule and show you can be an adult about it.
It’s natural to be feeling all kinds of emotions at this time. Anger, betrayal, sadness, jealousy can all be significant factors in a divorce proceeding. Arguing out these feelings can be a cathartic way of dealing with painful emotions, but these arguments must take place privately, away from your child. Children sense tension, and it can affect them negatively. Research has shown that children who are exposed to ongoing parental battles are more poorly-adjusted. Avoid fighting in front of them, and do not speak negatively about your spouse to your child. Show that you can get along and be civil, and your child will feel much happier about the whole thing.
Find the Right Lawyer
For the benefit of everyone involved, you want to make the divorce proceedings as quick and pain-free as possible. That’s why it’s essential to find an experienced divorce attorney who can handle the complicated legal arrangements for you. Finding the right lawyer early on in the process will make your life much more comfortable. Not only will they be able to advise you on all the technical aspects of your case, but they will also have years of sound experience to guide you.
Contributed post. Feature image via Pxhere.