Divorce can be a tricky time for everyone involved, especially if you have children. If you have children together you can’t make a totally clean break, as you both have parenting responsibilities. Ideally, all differences would be put aside for the sake of your children and this may be a possibility if your divorce was a mutual decision.
Your Ex, the Other Parent Category
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Making a decision to end a marriage is not an easy one, especially if there are children involved. When you stand at the altar and profess your vows to each other, you don’t think there will ever be a day where you are sat on opposite sides of a polished wooden table, with lawyers by your side and your entire lives spread out in front of you. Divorce is messy.
Relocation is a common issue in divorce cases. Often, the courts will put restrictions on the custodial parent’s responsibilities. He or she should keep the child within certain geographic boundaries. In Texas, we call this domicile restriction to discourage a parent who wishes to relocate with children.
Even after a divorce is finalized, a warring couple can continue to battle. We visited Deion and Pilar Sanders when they were finalizing their break-up, but their conflicts continue. Even though they finalized their divorce in 2013, the legal woes continue between former Dallas Cowboy…
Back in February, DGC told of a couple who had separated (Beginning Divorce: Awkward and Hard). They have two children. The Dad, sole breadwinner with a good job, moved into an apartment. They continued marriage counseling. Eventually, they got back together, but the reunion was short-lived.
The number one thing to remember when you are communicating with your Ex is to keep it short and sweet. And if you can’t do both, keep it even shorter. You may be one of those rare people who is on good term with your Ex, but, if getting a divorce teaches you anything it’s that feelings can change. The fact that you are getting along now…
With emotions running high before, during and after a break-up, ill feelings are often harbored, maybe for years. All of that makes it easy to overreact (and justify same). However, always remember that communication with this person is necessary for the duration of Sally’s formative years, maybe longer.
The divorce is final; you’re glade to have it behind you, but you don’t feel good about it. Sure you and your Ex had a relationship that ended badly, but you had some good times, too. And besides, you had a child together, so you’ll have to continue some type of relationship.
Divorce and child custody can be an ugly mean game. Sadly most parents don’t take the high road for the sake of the relationship or the process for the kids. Since you have determined you cannot move forward in the relationship together you must have your guard up and be hyper sensitive in regards to your Ex, your children, and your surroundings.
Pilar Sanders paid a heavy price for not cooperating with visitation rights with her children to her one-time husband, one-time Dallas Cowboys All-Pro Deion Sanders. Not only did she fail to return them after visitation, she illegally took them.
Bring the situation to the attention of your attorney and have her take it to the judge or CPS. But as with all accusations, you need concrete documentation. False accusations are an absolutely killer to your custody case and are fairly common in child custody proceedings.
He unexpectedly showed up at a recent dinner party the couple had been planning long before the split. As expected, the evening was awkward (yes, I was there). For most of the night, the wife stayed in one room of their spacious house, he in another. The guests made it easier for them as we broke half one way and half the other.
The time has come for the *“weekend visit.”* Ever since the divorce, your child has visited the non-custodial parent, mostly without incident. However, this time is different. The child balks, drags his feet, and complains. While that might not be unusual, this time, his reaction is more determined.
In a previous post, “A Father’s Quest to Find His Kidnapped Daughter,” I shared a tiny about the struggle some custodial parents both male and female deal with regarding exchanges. Being the custodial parent, requires you to put your personal feelings aside and take the high road in situations you would not normally agree too.