Divorce is always a tricky time for everyone involved. If you have children it is essential for everyone to remain as amicable as possible. Children can become very insecure when their parents are separating, as their whole world is about to be tipped upside down. A few decades ago divorce was unusual, but now divorce rates are at an all-time high. In a way, this is better for children involved, as they are unlikely to feel that they are the only child going through it. Hopefully, there are no custody issues when deciding who will be the main carer of your children, but if there are, it is advisable to get advice from experienced lawyers to protect your parental rights.
How to tell Your Children – Make Divorce Easier for Them
Children are very sensitive, so they will more than likely have an inkling that something is going on, for this reason, it’s better to tell your children as soon as possible what is happening, to prevent overactive imaginations concocting all sorts of scary scenarios.
Tell all of your children together, so that no one feels left out, after all, divorce brings with it some massive lifestyle changes. Make sure that your children know that it is not their fault and that both parents love them unconditionally. Sometimes children are left with the feeling that maybe if they behaved better, worked harder etc etc their parents wouldn’t be splitting up, so it’s important to get this right. Your child is likely to remember forever the moment they were told of their parents’ divorce, so think carefully about where you tell them. Let them express their emotions freely and give time to answer any questions they have, which will probably be plentiful as they seek security.
How Will My Children React?
Children will react to the news in many ways, often depending on their age and personality. Some children may become angry at their parents, some may become quiet and withdrawn and others may appear to take the news in their stride. Occasionally children that appear to have taken the news well, show signs of stress and anxiety elsewhere, such as school. Observe for this and always be on hand to give reassurance and answer questions. Seek advice from a professional if your child seems to be experiencing a lot of anxiety.
Who Else Needs to Know?
A lot of children will want to keep the news quiet until they get their own heads around the situation. It is a good idea, however, to have a subtle word with your child’s school. If your child is stressed and anxious it may affect their school work or the ability to cope with certain classroom situations. Occasionally they may need a friendly chat with another adult outside the home environment.
In conclusion, there are many ways of helping your children adjust to separation and divorce. Always keep your children at the center of everything you do during the divorce process and keep any animosity hidden. Be patient, reassuring, honest and loving as they come to terms with the family’s new circumstances. Try to work together as a couple to make the transition as smooth as possible.
Contributed post. Featured image courtesy of Pixabay.
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