[L]ast month, we gave tips on how divorced parents can benefit from joining a single-parent organization in Four Valuable Benefits of a Single Parent Support Group. Those reasons included: building a support system, gaining child care options, and vacation buddies.
But what about your children? Can they benefit from that organization? Yes, they can.
Kids also Benefit from Support Groups
1. They make new friends. It’s important for children of single parents to know they are not alone in the world of divorced, widowed, or never married parents. Participating in a single-parent support group allows them to make new friends and give them a positive vision of what their lives might look like years down the road. These new friends can also help in the healing process.
2. Additional mentors. As with adults, children benefit from mentors who help them advance their lives. Developing lasting relationships with other single parent families makes a new set of adults available as mentors to your children. Make one or two adults part of your ‘inner circle.’ Invite them to dinner, or have the new friends over for *‘game night.’ *
3. Increased self-esteem. Joining a single-parent group can boost your children’s self-esteem. The friendships they make and acceptance they experience will spill over into other areas of their lives and give them a stronger sense of self-confidence and empowerment.
[tweet “As with almost any aspect of surviving divorce, everyone’s needs from a support group will vary.”]
Determining factors include: Age of parents and child at time of divorce, your relationship with your Ex, number of children, whether or not your extended family lives nearby, and many other factors will all have a major impact on how a single parent group will work best for you.
Those dynamics will work themselves out, however. And the change may take some time to accomplish, but when you become entrenched, the odds are good that your family will benefit, maybe for a lifetime.
What benefits have your kids gained from a support group?
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Fred,
well I dont really know of any support groups for kids? How do you feel about counseling? My 8 yo daughter, I don’t think is doing well with our separation. I talked to my ex about it, she doesn’t seemed concerned but I don’t think she is adjusting well. Ideas?
Cory,
I am not a counselor, but I think everyone can benefit from counseling. Don’t consider it a bad thing. The fact you even mention it probably means she does. Even if your Ex doesn’t agree with it, consider scheduling her appointments on your weekends (or your time). Children need 3rd party people to talk to so they can process life, sometimes other folks beyond their parents.
Another idea to consider is “other friends” your daughter could talk too. I have two people, a babysitting friend and a neighbor, that my daughter feels comfortable talking with. Sometimes when I felt my daughter needed a 3rd party to talk with, I would schedule some time with these individuals. It was great and I could get adult feedback on issues without being directly involved.
My two cents worth. Thanks for the questions.