One of my fellow bloggers who I greatly love, is another father Fred out of Houston named Mocha Dad. This month he has asked me along with six other great fathers to be interviewed regarding great topics in a roundtable discussion on his website. Below is the first of four interview sessions. However, after reading my responses I would prefer you go to his site (see link below) and read the other six panelist and comment or discuss on his blog. Thanks – Fred
MochaDad: Explain how you felt when you first found out you would be a father?
Fred: The first time, I was not married nor expecting it. I was shocked for about 10 minutes, followed by extreme excitement, then concern about my ability to be the best father possible. The second time, I was married and was expecting it. I was on cloud nine! I knew I would be involved in another world changing life and I was very excited. The LORD has blessed me twice with such a great opportunity. I also experienced that joy one more time in February of 2010.
Mocha Dad: How would you compare yourself to your father?
Fred: I have a good father and he has trained me to be a better father—something every father desires. (“Stand on my shoulder son, so that you may see farther.”) Nevertheless, I repeated many of his mistakes. I don’t blame him; I am responsible for my own actions. Nevertheless, we must be careful what we teach our kids through our history and private actions. More is caught than taught.
Mocha Dad: What is one skill every father should have?
Fred: There are many skills a father should have. Perhaps near the top should be the confidence and encouragement that only a father can give. Don’t miss a chance to say “Good job!”, “Well done.”, “I believe in you.”, “I love you.” Apparently research shows hearing those words from dad goes farther than just about anything anyone could ever tell your kids. The absence of those words, scar children for a lifetime.
Mocha Dad: How do you feel about the media’s portrayal of fathers?
Fred: They display fathers as bumbling idiots who are not present or out of touch with their kids. I am extremely displeased with the media of our time—overall. They have long since lost the art of being the world’s “watch dog” and have given in to sensationalized “yellow journalism.” This means, they focus on what sells and improve corporate ratings, rather than the overall general public best interest. The general public is not off the hook either. We would rather hear about plane crashes, murder, drugs and things that we fear, than to hear that most people are good and the world is slowly becoming a better place. With that in mind, the reality of parenting, and especially today’s fathers, is grossly under reported and shamelessly slanted by the media.
Mocha Dad: Do you find any difference in raising girls and boys?
Fred: Every child is different and the parenting required to properly raise your children is different. The goal of parenting is to raise children that are: “Healthy, wealthy, and wiser than you, who grow up and LEAVE and become productive servants of society.” I find it very different raising a daughter verses raising a son. However, the answer to your question has more to do with their love language and personal temperament than stereotypical gender roles. Trust me. I have a son in ballet!
Again there there is more to come, click here for the next of a four part installment.
Now it’s your turn. How did you react when you found out you were a father? Is there a different way to raise girls vs. boys?
Fred Campos is father to three and primary custodian to his daughter Caitlyn from a previous relationship. Like this post? Make sure you subscribe to his blog, book him to teach or speak. Image courtesy of jscreationzs | FreeDigitialPhotos.net