Be a Better Father – Time not Money
One area in which many fathers struggle, especially those that have joint custody is providing enough time and attention to their children as opposed to money. Of course, if you see your kid less, it can be natural to want to spoil them, and also to win their good favor by providing them with things that they want. However, this isn’t always the most well-adjusted way to earn daddy points.
In fact, it can be a lot better both your relationship and keeping the relationship between you and your Ex more constructive if you show love with attention by making an effort rather than buying out the store on their every visit.
What that means is calling or texting every night to check in with your child and see how their day has gone and being there on social occasions even if it’s just for a while. It can even mean checking in with your Ex and working together on things that are affecting the kids’ wellbeing.
Be a Role Model
Next, you can be a better father to your children by being a good role model. Now, it’s tempting to think this means acting tough when they are around and hiding the things about yourself that you are less proud of. However, this is little more than an act, and it’s not being a good role model at all.
Instead, you will be a much stronger role model if you can admit to the things in your life that aren’t working or are causing you problems and commit yourself to change them.
This may include going into men’s sober living if you have a problem with substance or alcohol addiction, or committing to exercise and diet change if you struggle with your weight and health. It may even mean going to a therapist and anger management sessions if you have problems with your temper.
Remember too, that allowing the kids to see that you aren’t perfect but are making an effort to improve can be a valuable lesson for them in itself.
Be a Better Father – Set Boundaries
Lastly, you can be a better father by setting boundaries, something that can be especially hard to do if the kids don’t live with you all the time. However, you are not serving them well by letting them get away with anything and everything they cannot do when they are with your Ex.
In fact, you are setting up a contradiction that can make it much harder for them to control their behavior in the long term and so cause problems for them later in life.
Therefore if you want to be the best father possible, whether your kids live with you all time or not, it’s vital to set and be consistent when enforcing boundaries.
Contributed post. Feature image via Pexels.