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Listen for Good Attorneys in Court

The goal is to have five attorneys on your short list before you start interview for that special one to represent you.  You may have already gathered attorneys from Fathers’ groups and attorneys from others friends and family.  But what do you do if you still don’t have five?  In other tips I encouraged you to take a day off and watch your judges in action.  During that time you should have observed some attorneys working.  Much like trying to hire the right person, you are going to do some pre-observation preparation. For this tip, I want you to dress in a suit, bring a book and a notepad, and sit at the court house.  Your goal is to get the names of two to five good attorneys.

While you are doing your observations, you are going to be asking yourself:  “Could I get along with this attorney?  Does this attorney communicate effectively with his client?  Does this attorney appear to handle cases similar to mine?  Do I like the demeanor and attitudes of this attorney?  Would I be willing to listen to this attorney?”

Spend the first hour in the court room hallway, second and third hours in the actual court room, and finally an hour by the attorney/client conference meeting area.
1)      Start in the morning with the hallway outside the court room.  You will witness clients and attorneys looking for each other.    Watch carefully the interactions attorneys have with their clients, other attorneys and maybe even judges.  Do they seem cordial to their clients?  Are they talking and meeting with other attorneys?  Do they seem well known and comfortable in this courthouse?  Are they discussing and directing clients and witnesses?  Do other people seem to know the attorney?

2)      In the court room, you are watching potential attorneys conducting their case.  Do they seem to know what they are doing? Are they respectful to the judge and other attorneys? Are most of their objections “sustained” (ruled in their favor) or “overruled” (not ruled in their favor).  Are they organized?  Do they have several clients or just one?  Do they work alone or do they have an assistant?

3)      Somewhere in the building, attorneys meet with their clients to discuss settlement offerings, debriefing on rulings, and general somewhat private conversation.  Find this meeting place and sit and observe.  How well does the attorney appear to be communicating information to their clients?  Does council appear to be taking appropriate time to have client meetings?  Is the attorney explaining things clearly?  Does the lawyer appear to be listening as well?  Does the attorney offer several options to the client?  Is the representative making recommendations on what to do next?

During this process you are going to find lawyers you like and those you do not.  Once you have found a potential candidate, go introduce yourself and ask for a business card.  Most attorneys will be very flattered that you have taken the time to seek representation this way.  Keep in mind you may be interrupting them while they attend to another client, so tell them you will call to setup a follow-up appointment.

Overall this may seem like a lot of unnecessary work.  Nevertheless you will probably spend a great deal of time and money with this person.  Ultimately, you are looking for an attorney that is local, well known in your court, and can do the work you desire.  In future tips, we’ll talk about the specific questions you need to ask before hiring, but today you’re just adding to your list of potentials.

What are other suggestions for finding good attorneys? What would you add?

Fred Campos is father to three and primary custodian to his daughter Caitlyn from a previous relationship. Like this post? Make sure you subscribe to his blog, book him to teach or speak. Stay tune for his upcoming workbook “Daddy Got Custody” due out December 2012.

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Showtime Begins & Ends in Court from Your Car

For court appointments of any kind, drive your oldest most conservative car.  Upon exiting the vehicle you show your confidence with a smile. You don’t know who you will pass on your way into the building. You could be passing attorneys, jury members and judges. In my case, it was a jury trial that lasted three days. So there were jury members I was not allowed to talk to but whom I nevertheless saw in the restroom and shared elevators with.

Judges, opposing counsels, witnesses, are parking cars next to yours, walking in behind you and either getting the doors held for them by you—or else closed in their faces.  During my trial, I saw dads and other people going to court who were losing their cool in the parking garage—cussing, cutting up, saying negative things about their spouses—while judges and jury members were still watching them. Folks, your trial is not going on inside a vacuum. It is therefore up to you to keep your act clean both in and out of the courtroom.

Later in other tips, I’ll tell you about getting to do a post-trial interview with a jury member, and how close I came to not getting custody despite all my preparations and hard work. It comes down to little things like whether you were polite, whether you held doors open, how you spoke, if you made good eye contact. It is imperative to your success that you maintain your composure until the moment you leave and drive calmly away in your car.

What court behavior have you witnessed? What would you add?

Fred Campos is father to three and primary custodian to his daughter Caitlyn from a previous relationship. Like this post? Make sure you subscribe to his blog, book him to teach or speak. Stay tune for his upcoming workbook “Daddy Got Custody” due out December 2012.

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Be the Better Parent – My Story!

January 19, 2010

My main reason for doing so was that I had determined that I would probably be the better parent. Looking back on the ten-year history today, I obviously am the better parent. And that is the premise of this blog: that you become, and that you ARE the better parent. There are no tips in this blog that will give you a sleight of hand trick. I believe that the primary custodian should be the better parent, and I believe that there is no predetermined law that that must be the mother.

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Your Kids Need Their Own Room at Your Place Tip #7

January 13, 2010

The kids’ stuff shouldn’t be able to fit easily into a backpack, or even into a nice set of luggage. Their room needs to be decorated, pictures on the wall, games and books, stuff to do; it needs to look like a room your kids live in permanently, not just a place they kill some time before returning to their real home, not just four walls with a bed in it.

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Buy or Clean a Coat & Tie Suit Prior to Court. Tip #295

December 28, 2009

Every time you walk into court, whether you’re coming in to drop off a piece of paper, make a child support payment, or even if it was just the closest bathroom on your way to somewhere else, you need to be dressed to the hilt.

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Mocha Dad’s Fatherhood Roundtable Discussion Session IV

December 23, 2009

Now is the time to be the very best person you can be. As a dad, your influence on your kids will be far greater than your wife’s. Your child’s success, promiscuity, drug problem, integrity, and grades will be in direct proportion to your active involvement in their lives. The next 25 years will go by faster than any other year of your life—take some time and be present in your kids’ lives. Hug, be real, and say I love you—all the time!

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